15. The Hidden 5-Step Process Behind Every Ultra Drop
We’ve all faced that moment of hearing ourselves say, “I’m done.” Even as those words leave your mouth, part of you feels like it’s not the right call. But you felt like you didn’t have a choice…so how did you get there?
In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the 5-step process that leads to every ultra drop. Because while dropping might feel like a single moment of weakness, it’s actually a five-step process that begins long before you reach that aid station.
The good news is that you don’t have to wait until you’re at the point of no return to take control. By recognizing these five steps early, you can break the cycle and stay in the race. I’ll walk you through each stage, showing you exactly where things can start to go wrong. Knowing how to spot these signs will help you stay focused, calm, and in control - so you can finish strong, no matter what.
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
The difference between having rough patches and how they can spiral into a DNF.
What specific thoughts signal each stage of the dropping process.
How recognizing this process early gives you five chances to save your race.
The sneaky power of self-pity and how it leads to dropping out.
The mental trap that can cloud your ability to find solutions.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Unstoppable Ultra Runner, the podcast for ultra runners who refuse to let anything hold them back. I’m your host, Susan Donnelly, veteran of over 150 100-mile races, and a coach who helps runners like you break through mental roadblocks, push past doubt, and run with confidence. Let’s go.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 15. Today we're talking about something that every ultrarunner dreads, and it's that moment in a race when you hear yourself say, "I'm out. I'm dropping." Even as those words come out of your mouth, part of you is probably screaming, "Don't do it!" But the more that voice protests, the more determined you feel to go through with it and just make the call. You want to end the suffering.
But the moment the volunteer crosses your name off the list, your experience shifts. You're no longer in the race. You're no longer a runner; you're a spectator. You tell yourself it was the right call, and you try to believe it, but at the same time, there's this unsettled feeling that maybe you didn't make the right call. So you start looking for things to blame: your training, your fueling, the weather, the pace.
But deep down, what really haunts you is this: You made a choice, but it didn't really feel like you had a choice. It felt like something took over. And you're right. What took over was momentum.
I remember this feeling well. When I started dropping out of 100-mile races early on in my ultra running, it always left me dazed and confused and regretting it. I'd sit there afterward in shock, thinking, "What just happened? Why did I do that?" And as the regret sank in, I'd start thinking, "How do I stop this from happening again? How do I figure this out instead of giving up?"
My solutions back then, and this might sound familiar to you, were: "Do better. Train harder. Be stronger next time. Don't let doubt or fatigue convince you to quit." But none of that worked. Trying to be tougher in the moment and do it right didn't actually change the moment. I wish I'd known then what I'm about to share in this episode because the way we've been thinking about dropping sets us up to fail.
What if you have more control over dropping than you've ever imagined? Here's the breakthrough I want to share. Dropping isn't a single moment; it's a process. And every step in that process is a chance to stop it before you ever reach the point of actually dropping.
You know that mystifying feeling of something taking over when you drop? It's the momentum of this process. By the time you actually drop, you're at the end of a five-step process. And you actually have five chances to exit that process before you end up dropping, not just the one chance that we usually think of.
When you see dropping this way, it's a relief because you no longer have to rely on getting that one pivotal moment, that one high-pressure decision, right. You don't have to sit there in the aid station and fight the urge to drop when your mind is already made up, because if you can see the process starting, you get five chances to stop it early.
All you need to make this work for you are two things. First, you obviously need to know the process. And second, you need to know how to interrupt each step and stop the momentum before it takes over. Now, I teach both of these things to my clients, how to spot each step and exactly how to interrupt each step. But here in this episode, I want to keep it simple and just focus on the first part, helping you see the process, because this awareness alone will give you a huge edge in your next race.
So let's walk through it. And as I do, I want you to listen for the step that's tripped you up in the past or the one that's been the hardest for you, because that's where you can concentrate your power to stop this process and save your next race.
All right, here are the five steps. I'm going to give you a thought for each one because that's how you'll know which step you're in, by what you're thinking.
Step one is frustration. This is when you start thinking, "This race is harder than I expected and nothing I'm doing is making it any better." In this step, you dwell on all the ways that the race is harder than you thought it was going to be, and you start feeling hopeless. And what happens is that you stop trying to solve problems, and you miss perfectly good solutions that could work.
The second step is prediction. This is when you're thinking, "It's only going to get worse from here. More painful, more miserable, more hopeless, and I'll fail anyway." You start seeing the miles ahead as bleak, more pain, more suffering, and you treat that like a fact. And what's really going on here is that although it feels like the truth, you're actually letting your brain lead you down its preferred negative path without ever questioning it.
Step three, this is a fun one, self-pity. This is when you start thinking, "I'm no good at this. I can't do this. This isn't my day. I should have trained harder. I don't belong." You basically get into a pity party. You go from feeling bad about the race to feeling bad about yourself. It feels like you're being honest here with yourself, but what's really going on is self-blame dressed as reflection. And it gives you an out. It's a sneaky out because if you're the problem, then you can't fix the race.
All right. Step four. You only have this step and the next one left. So let's make this count. This one is fantasize. This is when you start thinking, "Huh, what would it be like to drop?" Now you're daydreaming about quitting. You start imagining the details: the shower, clean clothes, no more cutoff stress, being stationary for a while. You forget about the pride and power of finishing, and you start chasing the short-term comfort instead of your goal.
All right. This next one is the last one in the process. You really have to make this one count, because the next step after that isn't really a step. It's dropping.
So, step number five, this last step, is justification. This is when you start thinking, "You know, it's smart to drop because..." fill in the blank. Things like, "I'm listening to my body. I don't want to risk injury. I'll be better rested for the races ahead," stuff like that.
You gather all the reasons that dropping is a good idea, and you concoct a story in your mind that will allow you to quit without guilt. But what's really going on here is you're just turning that fantasy from the last step into a reality. You're laying the foundation to make dropping okay.
And so this next step isn't really a step, like I said. The next thing after that, if you don't stop it at justification, is dropping. If you don't interrupt the process earlier, you end up handing in your bib. You're out. Race is over. You walk away asking yourself, "What just happened?"
All right, that's the five-step process. Here are the five steps again, just a short list. The first one is frustration. The second one is prediction. The third one is self-pity. The fourth one is fantasize, and the fifth one is justification. And of course, what comes after that is dropping.
But the real power here that I don't want you to miss, it's not just being able to avoid the urge to drop. It's in knowing how much more control you actually have over dropping than you thought.
Now, when you can see the process starting to happen, you can change it. You don't have to fear it anymore. You don't have to wait until it's too late and try and talk yourself out of quitting when your mind's already made up. You can catch it in that first step, frustration, or at prediction, or at self-pity, and you can stay in the race, focused, confident, and in control now of how it ends.
Of course, this doesn't mean you won't have rough patches. You probably will. But it does mean you'll know what's happening when the rough patches come and how to get through them.
It's what I wish I'd had when I was dropping out of races. It's what I teach my clients now, how to spot the process and stop it in its tracks, because once you learn this, everything can change.
You finish more consistently, you stop wasting energy bracing for the inevitable failure you're sure is ahead, you start racing with confidence because you know exactly what to do when things get hard. And you don't just survive aid station stops, you move through each one like the strong, steady runner you are, all the way to the finish.
So, now you know the process. You're not guessing anymore. You can trust yourself, not just to hang on, but to stay in it and finish strong, because now you know how not to drop.
All right, that's it for this week. Thanks for listening, and share this episode with a friend. They'll appreciate it. See you next week. Bye.
Thanks for listening to Unstoppable Ultra Runner. If you want more ultra talk, mindset tools, and strategies for running with confidence, visit www.susanidonnelly.com. This podcast receives production support from the team at Digital Freedom Productions. That’s it for today’s episode. See you next week.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 15. Today we're talking about something that every ultrarunner dreads, and it's that moment in a race when you hear yourself say, "I'm out. I'm dropping." Even as those words come out of your mouth, part of you is probably screaming, "Don't do it!" But the more that voice protests, the more determined you feel to go through with it and just make the call. You want to end the suffering.
But the moment the volunteer crosses your name off the list, your experience shifts. You're no longer in the race. You're no longer a runner; you're a spectator. You tell yourself it was the right call, and you try to believe it, but at the same time, there's this unsettled feeling that maybe you didn't make the right call. So you start looking for things to blame: your training, your fueling, the weather, the pace.
But deep down, what really haunts you is this: You made a choice, but it didn't really feel like you had a choice. It felt like something took over. And you're right. What took over was momentum.
I remember this feeling well. When I started dropping out of 100-mile races early on in my ultra running, it always left me dazed and confused and regretting it. I'd sit there afterward in shock, thinking, "What just happened? Why did I do that?" And as the regret sank in, I'd start thinking, "How do I stop this from happening again? How do I figure this out instead of giving up?"
My solutions back then, and this might sound familiar to you, were: "Do better. Train harder. Be stronger next time. Don't let doubt or fatigue convince you to quit." But none of that worked. Trying to be tougher in the moment and do it right didn't actually change the moment. I wish I'd known then what I'm about to share in this episode because the way we've been thinking about dropping sets us up to fail.
What if you have more control over dropping than you've ever imagined? Here's the breakthrough I want to share. Dropping isn't a single moment; it's a process. And every step in that process is a chance to stop it before you ever reach the point of actually dropping.
You know that mystifying feeling of something taking over when you drop? It's the momentum of this process. By the time you actually drop, you're at the end of a five-step process. And you actually have five chances to exit that process before you end up dropping, not just the one chance that we usually think of.
When you see dropping this way, it's a relief because you no longer have to rely on getting that one pivotal moment, that one high-pressure decision, right. You don't have to sit there in the aid station and fight the urge to drop when your mind is already made up, because if you can see the process starting, you get five chances to stop it early.
All you need to make this work for you are two things. First, you obviously need to know the process. And second, you need to know how to interrupt each step and stop the momentum before it takes over. Now, I teach both of these things to my clients, how to spot each step and exactly how to interrupt each step. But here in this episode, I want to keep it simple and just focus on the first part, helping you see the process, because this awareness alone will give you a huge edge in your next race.
So let's walk through it. And as I do, I want you to listen for the step that's tripped you up in the past or the one that's been the hardest for you, because that's where you can concentrate your power to stop this process and save your next race.
All right, here are the five steps. I'm going to give you a thought for each one because that's how you'll know which step you're in, by what you're thinking.
Step one is frustration. This is when you start thinking, "This race is harder than I expected and nothing I'm doing is making it any better." In this step, you dwell on all the ways that the race is harder than you thought it was going to be, and you start feeling hopeless. And what happens is that you stop trying to solve problems, and you miss perfectly good solutions that could work.
The second step is prediction. This is when you're thinking, "It's only going to get worse from here. More painful, more miserable, more hopeless, and I'll fail anyway." You start seeing the miles ahead as bleak, more pain, more suffering, and you treat that like a fact. And what's really going on here is that although it feels like the truth, you're actually letting your brain lead you down its preferred negative path without ever questioning it.
Step three, this is a fun one, self-pity. This is when you start thinking, "I'm no good at this. I can't do this. This isn't my day. I should have trained harder. I don't belong." You basically get into a pity party. You go from feeling bad about the race to feeling bad about yourself. It feels like you're being honest here with yourself, but what's really going on is self-blame dressed as reflection. And it gives you an out. It's a sneaky out because if you're the problem, then you can't fix the race.
All right. Step four. You only have this step and the next one left. So let's make this count. This one is fantasize. This is when you start thinking, "Huh, what would it be like to drop?" Now you're daydreaming about quitting. You start imagining the details: the shower, clean clothes, no more cutoff stress, being stationary for a while. You forget about the pride and power of finishing, and you start chasing the short-term comfort instead of your goal.
All right. This next one is the last one in the process. You really have to make this one count, because the next step after that isn't really a step. It's dropping.
So, step number five, this last step, is justification. This is when you start thinking, "You know, it's smart to drop because..." fill in the blank. Things like, "I'm listening to my body. I don't want to risk injury. I'll be better rested for the races ahead," stuff like that.
You gather all the reasons that dropping is a good idea, and you concoct a story in your mind that will allow you to quit without guilt. But what's really going on here is you're just turning that fantasy from the last step into a reality. You're laying the foundation to make dropping okay.
And so this next step isn't really a step, like I said. The next thing after that, if you don't stop it at justification, is dropping. If you don't interrupt the process earlier, you end up handing in your bib. You're out. Race is over. You walk away asking yourself, "What just happened?"
All right, that's the five-step process. Here are the five steps again, just a short list. The first one is frustration. The second one is prediction. The third one is self-pity. The fourth one is fantasize, and the fifth one is justification. And of course, what comes after that is dropping.
But the real power here that I don't want you to miss, it's not just being able to avoid the urge to drop. It's in knowing how much more control you actually have over dropping than you thought.
Now, when you can see the process starting to happen, you can change it. You don't have to fear it anymore. You don't have to wait until it's too late and try and talk yourself out of quitting when your mind's already made up. You can catch it in that first step, frustration, or at prediction, or at self-pity, and you can stay in the race, focused, confident, and in control now of how it ends.
Of course, this doesn't mean you won't have rough patches. You probably will. But it does mean you'll know what's happening when the rough patches come and how to get through them.
It's what I wish I'd had when I was dropping out of races. It's what I teach my clients now, how to spot the process and stop it in its tracks, because once you learn this, everything can change.
You finish more consistently, you stop wasting energy bracing for the inevitable failure you're sure is ahead, you start racing with confidence because you know exactly what to do when things get hard. And you don't just survive aid station stops, you move through each one like the strong, steady runner you are, all the way to the finish.
So, now you know the process. You're not guessing anymore. You can trust yourself, not just to hang on, but to stay in it and finish strong, because now you know how not to drop.
All right, that's it for this week. Thanks for listening, and share this episode with a friend. They'll appreciate it. See you next week. Bye.
Thanks for listening to Unstoppable Ultra Runner. If you want more ultra talk, mindset tools, and strategies for running with confidence, visit www.susanidonnelly.com. This podcast receives production support from the team at Digital Freedom Productions. That’s it for today’s episode. See you next week.
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