31. The Fantasy Race Fallacy
What if the biggest thing holding you back in your ultramarathons isn’t your training, pacing, or nutrition…but a story you’ve been telling yourself without realizing it?
Most runners carry a secret race script in their heads: how things are “supposed” to go for the day to be a success. But when reality doesn’t match that fantasy, confidence drops, effort slips, and quiet quitting starts long before the finish line.
In this episode, I’m breaking down how that hidden fantasy race gets created, how it quietly sabotages even experienced runners, and how to keep your race from going off-script.
If you’re loving the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and review wherever you listen to podcasts today!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why the race in your head can become your biggest obstacle.
How unmet expectations quietly drain your motivation mid-race.
The difference between having goals and being trapped by a rigid fantasy script.
The mindset shift that keeps you adaptable.
Why the most memorable races are the messy ones, not the perfect execution.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
What if I told you that the biggest threat to finishing your next ultramarathon isn't your training or your nutrition or even the distance? It's a fantasy living in your head that you don't even know is there.
Welcome to Unstoppable Ultra Runner, the podcast for ultra runners who refuse to let anything hold them back. I’m your host, Susan Donnelly, veteran of over 150 100-mile races, and a coach who helps runners like you break through mental roadblocks, push past doubt, and run with confidence. Let’s go.
Welcome to Episode 31. I want to talk to you today about something I discovered with a client that affects a lot of ultra runners. And honestly, it might be happening to you right now in your next race without you even realizing it. It's what I call the fantasy race. And it's a sneaky trap that can sabotage your races. And you need to understand it if you want to run what you're capable of and enjoy the sport for years to come.
So, picture this with me for a second. You're 40 miles into what was supposed to be your peak A 100-mile race. You know, the one. You've been training for it for months, maybe longer. You don't race this distance often, so this is a really huge deal. You visualized this thing a hundred times. You spent untold hours deciding on the shoes and the watch, the nutrition, your electrolytes, everything, the travel, all of it.
You've researched the race, you have a plan, crew, pacers, drop bags, a detailed pacing plan, no detail spared. But now that you're in the race, it's not going well. Your stomach started acting up maybe around mile 30. Your pace is already slower at this mile than you wanted and you have 60 more miles to go. 60. A blister has formed where you've never had one before, and it's beginning to cause real pain that you can't ignore.
And then there are the climbs. They're demanding every bit of real, grinding strength your muscles have. Your legs feel like lead and already, the race is taking everything you've got. You look at your watch, you do your best ultra math, and realize you're already behind where you think you should be.
And here's where it gets interesting because what happens next isn't really about your stomach or your pace or your blister or the miles you have left. What happens next is entirely about what's going on in your head.
You had such high hopes for this race. And now so many things have been going wrong that it's totally discouraging. You don't see finishing. You're already starting to think, here we go, it's another bad race. And you lose enthusiasm for it because in the very back of your mind, as problems start to accumulate, you're thinking, this isn't how it's supposed to go.
This is what was really going on in a moment for my client. He was thinking, this isn't how the race is supposed to go. What we discovered when we coached on it is that without realizing it, he had a fantasy in his mind, an ideal version of the race, how it was supposed to go for him to have a good race and be able to finish. Otherwise, he had messed it up.
It wasn't just that he wanted the fantasy race. Those were literally the only two outcomes he saw. He either had the race he expected or he failed. It simply didn't occur to him that there was any middle ground.
You might be going into races the same way, though you probably don't think of it as a fantasy race. You think of it as how the race has to work out for you to be able to finish, how the race has to happen. But it's this fairy tale that you don't even realize you have that has to come true for you to have the happy ending you want and live happily ever after.
And by fantasy, I don't mean the dreams and goals and the type of race we strive for. Those are good things. And I'm also not talking about having high expectations of yourself or being competitive or elitist. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about having this very specific unconscious script in our minds of how we expect things to unfold.
In this fantasy race, sure, there might be some challenges. I mean, it's ultra running, so you expect some, but these are tame. I think of them as decorative problems. Maybe you get a little tired around mile 50, maybe there's a hill that's tougher than expected, or a few miles of mud.
But in this fantasy race that's in your head, every problem has a simple solution. Every challenge gets overcome smoothly. There are no real surprises, no genuine setbacks, no moments when you're genuinely not sure what to do next.
The fantasy race is basically the Hallmark movie version of ultra running: predictable challenges, neat solutions, triumphant finish, buckle in hand, roll credits. Your brain loves this version because it's neat and tidy and controllable. It follows a predictable script, and at the end of that script, you get exactly what you want and live happily ever after.
But here's the problem with fantasies: real races don't follow scripts. Real races are messy and unpredictable and full of problems you don't see coming. Your nutrition goes sideways, you get dehydrated, you take a wrong turn, you fall, the weather changes, your gear malfunctions, your energy drops way before you expected it to, and every time something goes against your fantasy script, something happens in your brain.
You drift further from the story you expected, further from that smooth execution you planned, further from that triumphant finish that you visualized. And with each step away from that fantasy, the happily ever after ending feels more and more out of reach. So you get discouraged you're not going to get the race you wanted, which means you've failed at it. And now that you've failed, you lose enthusiasm and you start to quiet quit. You start to put halfhearted energy into it.
Here's a key insight: each problem or struggle takes you further from your fantasy race. And the further your actual race gets from your fantasy race, the bigger that divide, the more it feels like you failed, and the less enthusiasm you have in fighting for your race.
Think about it for a second. It's not actually that the problems you're facing are unmanageable, it's that they weren't in your script. And if the race isn't following the script, you failed. You can't possibly get the ending you want.
And here's what really gets me: runners in this situation could probably solve most of these problems or finish with them. But they think they shouldn't have to. The presence of these problems is the problem to them. It means that they aren't going to have the race they expected. In their fantasy race, they wouldn't even have these problems to solve in the first place.
So what do runners do when they realize their fantasy race is gone? They start giving up. Maybe not all at once, but piece by piece, problem by problem. They stop fighting as hard for solutions. They stop adapting.
They start thinking about what they did wrong in training, the mistakes they've made in the race, and how they're probably just not cut out for this distance. They convince themselves that since this isn't the way the race is supposed to go, it's not worth trying to finish. It's just going to keep getting worse.
And here's the really cruel part: they're usually wrong. Most of the time, they can finish. They can solve problems and adapt and change strategies. And maybe not finish with the time they wanted or feeling the way they hoped, but they could have crossed the line and, here's the kicker, have a race they'd be even more proud of than the fantasy race they think it has to be.
But they talk themselves out of it because in their minds, the fantasy race is the only way to success. It's like thinking that there's only one way to make a meal, so when you're missing an ingredient, you just throw the whole thing away instead of improvising and maybe discovering something even better.
Here's what I want you to understand about this: the best races, the most memorable races, the races that actually change you as a person, they're almost never the fantasy race. They're the messy ones, the ones where you have to dig deeper than you thought possible, where you face problems that you've never faced before, and somehow, figure them out. Where you keep adapting, not once, but again and again, and discover that you're tougher and more resourceful than you knew.
I'm talking about races where you genuinely are not sure you can finish, but you keep fighting for it and work toward it anyway, and then you do. Where you have to completely reimagine what success looks like halfway through the race, where you learn that you can keep going even when it feels like everything is going wrong. Where you earn a finish that changes you, not just one that looks pretty, one that requires all your smarts, not just one that looks smart.
Those are the races you really want. Those are the races you'll talk about for years. Those are the ones that make you proud of yourself in a way that no perfect fantasy execution ever can.
Now, having this fantasy race in your head isn't a character flaw. It's completely human, completely normal. Our human brains really, really want a fantasy version of this race, and they really, really, really want it to come true. Our brains are basically prediction machines. They take the available data of your current situation that you're in in the race, look back at the past, and create a script of how the future will go. They're most comfortable when reality matches their predictions.
But when your race veers off script into unpredictable territory, your brain sees that as failure. And failure, of course, feels like a threat. And threats make your brain want to quit and find something more predictable to do. Your brain wants the Hallmark movie because Hallmark movies are safe. You know how they're going to end from the first scene. There's comfort in that predictability.
But here's the thing about ultra running, and maybe about life in general: the good stuff happens in the uncertainty. The growth, the real achievement happens when you don't know what's coming next, but you keep going anyway.
So here's the real problem: believing that your race has to match your fantasy for you to finish successfully. That thinking right there is a trap. And once you see it, you can't unsee it.
The solution isn't to stop planning or to stop having goals. I help my clients come up with plans. I firmly believe in that. The solution here is to hold those plans and goals lightly. To understand that they're starting points, not rigid requirements, and that you'll likely have to adapt and deal with problems that you didn't expect. You'll likely have to push harder than you thought you'd have to.
The solution here is to widen your definition of success. To expand your idea of what a successful race looks like beyond the narrow script of your fantasy race.
To know that more problems and bigger problems will likely come up that aren't in your script, and that's not a sign that your race is ruined. It's a sign that your race is in motion, and you're being asked to deal with the reality of the real race you're running. To know that you can finish slower and more exhausted, more hard-won and less fairy tale perfect than you imagined. And that's infinitely more of a success than any tidy script ever could be.
When you stop needing your race to be perfect, something amazing happens: you become incredibly resilient. You find your fierceness. You discover depths of strength and tenacity in yourself that you didn't know you had. Race problems become puzzles to solve instead of mounting evidence that you should quit. Setbacks become part of the adventure that you're conquering instead of reasons to give up.
You start to understand that ultra running is fundamentally about adapting when nothing is going according to plan, and knowing that you can. That you have that ability, and you can keep adapting over and over the entire race, all the way to the finish line because you can outlast everything the race throws at you. There's no limit on your ability to keep going.
And here's the beautiful irony in this: when you stop trying to force your race into this fantasy script, you open up the possibility that you can have the exact kind of race that becomes legendary in your own personal running story, the races you remember most.
So I want to leave you with this thought: what if your fantasy race isn't the perfect problem-free execution that you've been imagining? What if your fantasy race doesn't follow a script? What if your fantasy race is the one where you face real challenges and rise to meet them, where you discover capabilities that you didn't know you had? Where you prove to yourself that you can handle whatever challenges come your way.
What if your fantasy race was the messy, imperfect, completely unpredictable adventure where you have to fight for every mile, and you do? What if your fantasy race is full of mistakes that you rise above and it works out better than you ever imagined? Because that race, that's available to you. That race is possible every time you start an ultra. You just have to be willing to let go of that fantasy script and embrace whatever story wants to unfold.
So the next time you're out there and things start going off script, remember this: your race isn't falling apart, your fantasy is. And that might be the best thing that could happen to you. Because the harder you hold on to that fantasy, the more you turn down the possibility of having a better, stronger, more amazing race. Success can happen in so many ways beyond that one narrow script you had in mind.
Thanks for listening today. Now get out there and have yourself a beautifully imperfect race.
All right, y'all. That's this week's episode. If you know someone who could use this, share it with them. It might be exactly what they need to hear.
Thanks for listening to Unstoppable Ultra Runner. If you want more ultra talk, mindset tools, and strategies for running with confidence, visit www.susanidonnelly.com. This podcast receives production support from the team at Digital Freedom Productions. That’s it for today’s episode. See you next week.
Welcome to Unstoppable Ultra Runner, the podcast for ultra runners who refuse to let anything hold them back. I’m your host, Susan Donnelly, veteran of over 150 100-mile races, and a coach who helps runners like you break through mental roadblocks, push past doubt, and run with confidence. Let’s go.
Welcome to Episode 31. I want to talk to you today about something I discovered with a client that affects a lot of ultra runners. And honestly, it might be happening to you right now in your next race without you even realizing it. It's what I call the fantasy race. And it's a sneaky trap that can sabotage your races. And you need to understand it if you want to run what you're capable of and enjoy the sport for years to come.
So, picture this with me for a second. You're 40 miles into what was supposed to be your peak A 100-mile race. You know, the one. You've been training for it for months, maybe longer. You don't race this distance often, so this is a really huge deal. You visualized this thing a hundred times. You spent untold hours deciding on the shoes and the watch, the nutrition, your electrolytes, everything, the travel, all of it.
You've researched the race, you have a plan, crew, pacers, drop bags, a detailed pacing plan, no detail spared. But now that you're in the race, it's not going well. Your stomach started acting up maybe around mile 30. Your pace is already slower at this mile than you wanted and you have 60 more miles to go. 60. A blister has formed where you've never had one before, and it's beginning to cause real pain that you can't ignore.
And then there are the climbs. They're demanding every bit of real, grinding strength your muscles have. Your legs feel like lead and already, the race is taking everything you've got. You look at your watch, you do your best ultra math, and realize you're already behind where you think you should be.
And here's where it gets interesting because what happens next isn't really about your stomach or your pace or your blister or the miles you have left. What happens next is entirely about what's going on in your head.
You had such high hopes for this race. And now so many things have been going wrong that it's totally discouraging. You don't see finishing. You're already starting to think, here we go, it's another bad race. And you lose enthusiasm for it because in the very back of your mind, as problems start to accumulate, you're thinking, this isn't how it's supposed to go.
This is what was really going on in a moment for my client. He was thinking, this isn't how the race is supposed to go. What we discovered when we coached on it is that without realizing it, he had a fantasy in his mind, an ideal version of the race, how it was supposed to go for him to have a good race and be able to finish. Otherwise, he had messed it up.
It wasn't just that he wanted the fantasy race. Those were literally the only two outcomes he saw. He either had the race he expected or he failed. It simply didn't occur to him that there was any middle ground.
You might be going into races the same way, though you probably don't think of it as a fantasy race. You think of it as how the race has to work out for you to be able to finish, how the race has to happen. But it's this fairy tale that you don't even realize you have that has to come true for you to have the happy ending you want and live happily ever after.
And by fantasy, I don't mean the dreams and goals and the type of race we strive for. Those are good things. And I'm also not talking about having high expectations of yourself or being competitive or elitist. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about having this very specific unconscious script in our minds of how we expect things to unfold.
In this fantasy race, sure, there might be some challenges. I mean, it's ultra running, so you expect some, but these are tame. I think of them as decorative problems. Maybe you get a little tired around mile 50, maybe there's a hill that's tougher than expected, or a few miles of mud.
But in this fantasy race that's in your head, every problem has a simple solution. Every challenge gets overcome smoothly. There are no real surprises, no genuine setbacks, no moments when you're genuinely not sure what to do next.
The fantasy race is basically the Hallmark movie version of ultra running: predictable challenges, neat solutions, triumphant finish, buckle in hand, roll credits. Your brain loves this version because it's neat and tidy and controllable. It follows a predictable script, and at the end of that script, you get exactly what you want and live happily ever after.
But here's the problem with fantasies: real races don't follow scripts. Real races are messy and unpredictable and full of problems you don't see coming. Your nutrition goes sideways, you get dehydrated, you take a wrong turn, you fall, the weather changes, your gear malfunctions, your energy drops way before you expected it to, and every time something goes against your fantasy script, something happens in your brain.
You drift further from the story you expected, further from that smooth execution you planned, further from that triumphant finish that you visualized. And with each step away from that fantasy, the happily ever after ending feels more and more out of reach. So you get discouraged you're not going to get the race you wanted, which means you've failed at it. And now that you've failed, you lose enthusiasm and you start to quiet quit. You start to put halfhearted energy into it.
Here's a key insight: each problem or struggle takes you further from your fantasy race. And the further your actual race gets from your fantasy race, the bigger that divide, the more it feels like you failed, and the less enthusiasm you have in fighting for your race.
Think about it for a second. It's not actually that the problems you're facing are unmanageable, it's that they weren't in your script. And if the race isn't following the script, you failed. You can't possibly get the ending you want.
And here's what really gets me: runners in this situation could probably solve most of these problems or finish with them. But they think they shouldn't have to. The presence of these problems is the problem to them. It means that they aren't going to have the race they expected. In their fantasy race, they wouldn't even have these problems to solve in the first place.
So what do runners do when they realize their fantasy race is gone? They start giving up. Maybe not all at once, but piece by piece, problem by problem. They stop fighting as hard for solutions. They stop adapting.
They start thinking about what they did wrong in training, the mistakes they've made in the race, and how they're probably just not cut out for this distance. They convince themselves that since this isn't the way the race is supposed to go, it's not worth trying to finish. It's just going to keep getting worse.
And here's the really cruel part: they're usually wrong. Most of the time, they can finish. They can solve problems and adapt and change strategies. And maybe not finish with the time they wanted or feeling the way they hoped, but they could have crossed the line and, here's the kicker, have a race they'd be even more proud of than the fantasy race they think it has to be.
But they talk themselves out of it because in their minds, the fantasy race is the only way to success. It's like thinking that there's only one way to make a meal, so when you're missing an ingredient, you just throw the whole thing away instead of improvising and maybe discovering something even better.
Here's what I want you to understand about this: the best races, the most memorable races, the races that actually change you as a person, they're almost never the fantasy race. They're the messy ones, the ones where you have to dig deeper than you thought possible, where you face problems that you've never faced before, and somehow, figure them out. Where you keep adapting, not once, but again and again, and discover that you're tougher and more resourceful than you knew.
I'm talking about races where you genuinely are not sure you can finish, but you keep fighting for it and work toward it anyway, and then you do. Where you have to completely reimagine what success looks like halfway through the race, where you learn that you can keep going even when it feels like everything is going wrong. Where you earn a finish that changes you, not just one that looks pretty, one that requires all your smarts, not just one that looks smart.
Those are the races you really want. Those are the races you'll talk about for years. Those are the ones that make you proud of yourself in a way that no perfect fantasy execution ever can.
Now, having this fantasy race in your head isn't a character flaw. It's completely human, completely normal. Our human brains really, really want a fantasy version of this race, and they really, really, really want it to come true. Our brains are basically prediction machines. They take the available data of your current situation that you're in in the race, look back at the past, and create a script of how the future will go. They're most comfortable when reality matches their predictions.
But when your race veers off script into unpredictable territory, your brain sees that as failure. And failure, of course, feels like a threat. And threats make your brain want to quit and find something more predictable to do. Your brain wants the Hallmark movie because Hallmark movies are safe. You know how they're going to end from the first scene. There's comfort in that predictability.
But here's the thing about ultra running, and maybe about life in general: the good stuff happens in the uncertainty. The growth, the real achievement happens when you don't know what's coming next, but you keep going anyway.
So here's the real problem: believing that your race has to match your fantasy for you to finish successfully. That thinking right there is a trap. And once you see it, you can't unsee it.
The solution isn't to stop planning or to stop having goals. I help my clients come up with plans. I firmly believe in that. The solution here is to hold those plans and goals lightly. To understand that they're starting points, not rigid requirements, and that you'll likely have to adapt and deal with problems that you didn't expect. You'll likely have to push harder than you thought you'd have to.
The solution here is to widen your definition of success. To expand your idea of what a successful race looks like beyond the narrow script of your fantasy race.
To know that more problems and bigger problems will likely come up that aren't in your script, and that's not a sign that your race is ruined. It's a sign that your race is in motion, and you're being asked to deal with the reality of the real race you're running. To know that you can finish slower and more exhausted, more hard-won and less fairy tale perfect than you imagined. And that's infinitely more of a success than any tidy script ever could be.
When you stop needing your race to be perfect, something amazing happens: you become incredibly resilient. You find your fierceness. You discover depths of strength and tenacity in yourself that you didn't know you had. Race problems become puzzles to solve instead of mounting evidence that you should quit. Setbacks become part of the adventure that you're conquering instead of reasons to give up.
You start to understand that ultra running is fundamentally about adapting when nothing is going according to plan, and knowing that you can. That you have that ability, and you can keep adapting over and over the entire race, all the way to the finish line because you can outlast everything the race throws at you. There's no limit on your ability to keep going.
And here's the beautiful irony in this: when you stop trying to force your race into this fantasy script, you open up the possibility that you can have the exact kind of race that becomes legendary in your own personal running story, the races you remember most.
So I want to leave you with this thought: what if your fantasy race isn't the perfect problem-free execution that you've been imagining? What if your fantasy race doesn't follow a script? What if your fantasy race is the one where you face real challenges and rise to meet them, where you discover capabilities that you didn't know you had? Where you prove to yourself that you can handle whatever challenges come your way.
What if your fantasy race was the messy, imperfect, completely unpredictable adventure where you have to fight for every mile, and you do? What if your fantasy race is full of mistakes that you rise above and it works out better than you ever imagined? Because that race, that's available to you. That race is possible every time you start an ultra. You just have to be willing to let go of that fantasy script and embrace whatever story wants to unfold.
So the next time you're out there and things start going off script, remember this: your race isn't falling apart, your fantasy is. And that might be the best thing that could happen to you. Because the harder you hold on to that fantasy, the more you turn down the possibility of having a better, stronger, more amazing race. Success can happen in so many ways beyond that one narrow script you had in mind.
Thanks for listening today. Now get out there and have yourself a beautifully imperfect race.
All right, y'all. That's this week's episode. If you know someone who could use this, share it with them. It might be exactly what they need to hear.
Thanks for listening to Unstoppable Ultra Runner. If you want more ultra talk, mindset tools, and strategies for running with confidence, visit www.susanidonnelly.com. This podcast receives production support from the team at Digital Freedom Productions. That’s it for today’s episode. See you next week.
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