71. The Infinite Game: A Better Way to Approach Your Ultra Running

Let's imagine that you've got a big race coming up, a really big one. It's a once-in-a-lifetime race, a lottery race that you've somehow lucked into, or it's a step up in distance, or you're coming off a devastating DNF or even a series of DNFs. The stakes feel enormous, and before long, your entire identity as an ultra runner seems to rest on what happens on that one day. But what if you've been looking at racing the wrong way all along?

In this episode, I introduce one of the core philosophies behind my coaching: the concept of the infinite game. I explain why viewing ultra running as one long game, rather than a series of make-or-break races, changes everything. No single race can ever be a verdict on your ability, and changing your mindset on this lowers the fear of failure, and helps you race with more confidence, freedom, and enjoyment.

When you stop treating every race like the final exam of your ultra running, you free yourself to take more risks, learn from every experience, and keep growing for years to come. This episode will show you how embracing the infinite game can help you let go of unnecessary pressure, play the hand you've been dealt, and enjoy the challenge of becoming a better ultra runner one race at a time.

My 1:1 Mental Mastery Coaching for Ultrarunners is a six-month coaching program where we build the mental skills experienced ultrarunners use to handle difficult races well. Schedule a consult call to learn more here.


What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What the “infinite game” is and how it completely changes the way you approach racing.

  • Why treating one race as a verdict on your ultra running creates unnecessary pressure.

  • How seeing every race as just one hand in a much bigger game reduces the fear of failure.

  • Why setbacks, DNFs, injuries, and disappointing races don't define you as an ultra runner.

  • How the infinite game mindset helps you race with more confidence, freedom, and enjoyment.

  • Why playing the long game makes it easier to take risks, keep improving, and stay in the sport for years to come.

  • How to approach your next big race with less pressure and more trust in yourself.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • The Ultrarunner’s Mastery Debrief Template helps you evaluate your races like experienced ultrarunners do - identifying what worked, what didn’t work, and what to do differently next time. Download yours for free here.

  • If you’re loving the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and review wherever you listen to podcasts today!

  • Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse

Episodes Related to The Infinite Game: A Better Way to Approach Your Ultrarunning:

Full Episode Transcript:

This is one of my favorite ways to see ultra running. And it's one thing that makes my coaching different from anyone else's. It changes how my clients approach everything from a DNF to their biggest goal race. And once you hear it, you won't see ultra running the same ever again.

Welcome to Unstoppable Ultra Runner, the podcast for ultra runners who refuse to let anything hold them back. I’m your host, Susan Donnelly, veteran of over 150 100-mile races, and a coach who helps runners like you break through mental roadblocks, push past doubt, and run with confidence. Let’s go.

Welcome to episode 71. This is one of my favorite ways to view our sport. And it's really the way I've always looked at it from day one. I just didn't know that it was a concept that actually had a name until several years ago. And it is so helpful. Once you see ultra running this way, it can change everything: your fear of risk, the fun you have, the route to longevity in the sport, and your growing level of mastery in the sport. Because that's what you're doing.

So, this is one of the most relieving concepts I get to introduce to clients. It relieves so much stress. It changes the way they see races and it frees them up to run stronger and more confidently. So let's go. And let's start here to get the full effect. Let's imagine that you've got a big race coming up, a really big one. It's a once-in-a-lifetime race or a lottery race that you've somehow lucked into, or it's a step up in distance, or you're coming off a devastating DNF or even a series of DNFs. And this one, this next race, has to go right.

Now, I know that when you're coming into a race like this, the cost of failure is too high. It's excruciating to even consider it. Failure is just not an option. But the risk of failing feels equally high. And your anxiety is right there with the risk of failing because in the back of your mind, you know the stress isn't a good thing and you're trying hard not to think about it. And you wanted to do this race, and you should want to do this race, and you don't want to admit it, but you dread the race because you are certain you're going to fail.

And failing would prove you're not as good as you think you are. It would expose you. It would draw your past race accomplishments into question. It would also limit what you see yourself capable of in future. So everything is on the line: your past, your present, and your future. This has to go well. There's no other way it can go. So you go all in on the training and preparing for it, and in your mind, your performance in the race becomes a verdict on you personally and your ultra running. This race is going to be the final word. This is it.

And because failing is now all you can think about, the fear of it has you imagining it in your head on repeat, probably even picturing exactly how it's going to happen. Your goal becomes, I just want to finish, which to you, every time you say that, it actually means, don't fail. I just don't want to fail. So your whole race strategy unintentionally becomes "don't fail," which keeps you so tense and worn out from worrying and stressing about it that by race day, you fail somehow.

You either end up disappointed because it wasn't the race you wanted or you DNF, but however it works out, you're far from having the peak race that you wanted and needed. The good news here is that wasn't your physical capability. That wasn't the problem. The problem was placing over-importance on this one race, pinning everything to this one race, turning it into a life-or-death test.

And that's because you don't have a broader perspective to put this very important race into. When you're seeing races this way, each race becomes a measure of who you are, a judgment of who you are. Each race has the power that way to make or break you, which is a lot of pressure on a race. And that's because you're thinking of ultra running race by race, one at a time. So the solution here is seeing how all those races fit together as a whole, how one race by itself isn't life or death, and it isn't everything, and it can't be a verdict on you and your ultra running.

And there's a concept for that, and it's called the infinite game. I first ran across the concept of the infinite game in James Carse's book, Finite and Infinite Games, and realized it was already how I saw ultra running from day one. I just didn't have a name for it until then. So it's one of the main ways I see the sport differently than most people, and it's one thing that makes my coaching unique. This is the broader perspective you need. It's one of the core philosophies behind my coaching.

It's not just about calming whatever anxiety or worry has cropped up that week. It's about completely shifting the way you see races, learning to see every race as part of a bigger whole. And here's what that means. With ultra running, you're playing an infinite game. It's a game, which means you get a hand of cards dealt to you. And there are rules that you agree to follow, like you've got to run a certain distance in a certain amount of time each race. And you play your cards with the smartest strategy you can.

Every round, you get a new hand of cards and you decide how to play them. And then you play them. Some hands, you come out ahead. Some you lose, but the game keeps going, hand after hand. And it's an infinite game because it doesn't end until you decide it does. Those hands go on forever as long as you want to play the game. You can play as many hands as you want. You can take a break. You can come back to the game.

Other players can come in and out of the game in the meantime, but your place in the game isn't over until you say it is, which means you can't actually lose. You can only keep playing or quit. A race is just a hand. It's not the game. Every game has good hands and bad. Unless you play one good hand and stop the game, stop playing, that's just the nature of the game. You can quit a race, but you're still in the game. That round, that race, didn't go the way you hoped, but you get to use what you learned in the next one.

And think about it this way: nobody quits playing poker after one bad hand. That's not why you play. You play to see what you can do in the next hand, to do it better. So it's not about the outcome of a single hand. It's whether you keep playing and you keep getting better at it. And that truly is the fun. Playing smarter than you did last time, learning from that hand to do the next one better, getting better at the game, smarter through good hands and bad, for as long as you choose to keep playing.

And here's just a couple of examples I thought of while I was setting up this episode. One client runs the Barkley Fall Classic, and she has for the past years. And in this race, you can miss one of the tighter cutoffs early and just not finish it at all. But if you make those tighter early cutoffs, you get to what's called the decision point, where you either give up your 50K dreams, the race is a 50K, so you either give up your dream of finishing the whole 50K and settle for a marathon. So you either don't finish because you miss an early cutoff or you get to the decision point and you have to decide whether you're going to go on for the 50K or settle for the marathon.

And she's run this race for several years and DNF'd it every time, not even gotten the marathon. But we use the infinite game to put those DNFs in perspective. Finishing the full 50K for her might just be a long-term project, but it's not a verdict on her or this year. It's a project she's chipping away at. She's getting better at playing the hands of that particular race. And that reframe made it easier to come back and play a better hand every year now. And last year, she got her first marathon finish.

So this year, now that she knows she can finish the marathon, she's played the game that well, played her hand that well, she's more confident. She played that hand, she won a round, and she's going to go for the full 50K finish this year, which all in all, I asked her the other day, and it's more fun for her now. This race is now more fun. She doesn't dread it like she used to. She's getting better at playing the game, playing that particular hand of that particular race, and she knows it.

Here's another example. Another client DNF'd three times at the 100-mile distance. That's three bad hands. But she didn't quit the game. And she went on to not only finish multiple 100-mile races, but a 200-mile race as well. And she's taking a break right now for an unrelated injury but still running and still in the game, getting ready to come back to racing. Bad hands, good hands, taking a break, coming back to it. That's the game.

And then there's my whole hip story. I DNF'd a handful of 100s out of the blue because I'm a little bit stubborn. I don't give up easily, before I took a break and got this hip replaced. Now, I could easily think, I'm old, I'm slow, maybe I can't do 100s or even a 50K anymore. But I'm still very much in the game. That's my decision. I've been working on recovery, upping my mileage, and I do have a couple of races scheduled that I'm actually going to do somehow.

And the way I see it, this was just a setback, the hip thing and the DNFs I had because of my hip, just a setback, a bunch of bad hands. Even if my hip replacement changes the way I play, changes the races I can do, I'm excited about what's ahead because I love playing the game. And clients hit goals and they finish dream races. They also miss goals and make mistakes and get injured and take breaks. They live life and they learn how to play the game better.

We all keep learning how to play the game better and smarter, more confidently, and we're all still in the game. When you see ultra running like this, as an ongoing game instead of a single hand that everything depends on, you can run relaxed and clear-minded, the way you know you can, instead of tensed up and desperate not to fail. One race isn't all-important. And you're going to play your all-out best in this race, but it's not life or death. It's only one hand in the bigger game.

There will be another hand after this one, if you want there to be. And there is big fun in running to play the hand you were dealt with the best you can. I love doing that. That makes it so fun to me, looking at the hand of cards I got dealt with and, let's see how I can make this the winning hand today. That's why people play games: to see how you can turn an imperfect hand into a winning one by the way you play it.

And no matter how the race is going, you don't quit and walk out. Why would you? This round isn't over and you're dying to see how all your strategies and problem-solving will play out. You could still win this hand. You want to see what you can do with this hand and the next one and the next. Now, don't worry, seeing big races as only a hand in the bigger game doesn't belittle a race either. Races are how you play the game. That's where the playing happens. So they all matter.

And you're always trying to play better, using the new tool for dealing with negative thoughts that you learned, pushing where you haven't before, conquering the night hours that you've always dreaded. A race is your chance to play the hand better and smarter this time. And big races with big stakes are fun and a different way to play. You get the chance to bring everything you learned and put it together, your absolute best, and use it to run better. You've been waiting to play that hand.

And think about it this way: you can't get a race wrong. You can't get it wrong. You can only play. And if you have a big race coming up when you listen to this episode, perfect. Take a moment right now and step back in your mind and take a big-picture view and look at this race in terms of the big picture of the ultra-running game you're playing, along with all your past races and the future ones you'd like to run. And see how this is one hand among many.

You're going to play those cards, even if they're not perfect, even if they're not a royal flush. You're going to play those cards brilliantly. And that's going to be so fun. All that strategy you've been learning and the experience you've gained race by race, you don't have to think about it. You're just going to play your hand the best you know in the moment, and that's all going to come automatically to you in this big race.

Feel the tension release when you think about this race as part of a whole. You signed up to play this high-stakes round for the fun of it, for the challenge of it, because it felt good. To play instead of watch other people play, to put everything into action. All the skills and strategy and endurance you've been building, now's the time to bring them all out and have fun with this round playing that hand. No one else has the same hand you do, either, so there's no right way to play it.

This is a game you get to play any way you want. You can play it ambitious, serious, fun, laid-back, whatever. No one else gets to tell you how to play the game. All you got to do is enjoy the challenge of playing it the way you want to, the best you can. Seeing ultra running this way as an infinite game, it lowers the cost of failure. One race isn't life or death. Everything is never riding on one race. One race cannot possibly be a verdict on your worth or your abilities as an ultra runner. You're playing a longer game.

This lowers your risk because as long as you stay in the game of ultra running, you can't fail. You can't even fail at a hand. You can only play the hand the best you can, learn from it, and put what you learned into playing the next hand better. So it frees you to take more risks in the future. And it means that you're allowed to have fun at ultra running, to enjoy meeting the challenge of it. You're allowed to have bad hands and good hands. It's not so much about the outcome. It's about how you're playing the game.

You're allowed to keep playing as long as you want. You don't have to stop with age or loss of speed. The game is always there for you. You get to change where and how you play the game if you want to, but it's always there for you. And remember, ultra running is a game that you choose to play. It's not something you're forced into doing or you have to. It's not something you're trapped in. It's not a test you have to pass to see if you make the cut somehow. You're testing your own skills in this hand because you want to play the game.

You're curious to see how you can do. And you'll take however it shakes out and sign up for another hand. So let yourself have fun with it. Enjoy meeting the challenge. Enjoy exercising your skills and your experience and putting them into action, taking them out to play. That is so fun. You can finish this hand or not, but it's just one hand. And you get to play as many hands as you want. There is no limit. Because ultra running is an infinite game, and you're still in the game. And you decide how you're going to play it.

All right, you all. That's this week's episode. Thanks for listening. If you know someone who could use this, share it with them. It might be exactly what they need to hear. See you next week. Bye.

Thanks for listening to Unstoppable Ultra Runner. If you want more ultra talk, mindset tools, and strategies for running with confidence, visit www.susanidonnelly.com. This podcast receives production support from the team at Digital Freedom Productions. That’s it for today’s episode. See you next week.

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Susan Donnelly

Susan is a life coach for ultrarunners. She helps ultrarunners build the mental and emotional management skills so they can see what they’re capable of.

http://www.susanidonnelly.com
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70. What Coaching Really Gives You as an Ultrarunner