The Question I Ask When My Race Falls Apart

It happens.

You're well into the race and not where you wanted to be.

You can't seem to fix it. You can't gain the time back. And you've tried so hard.

You've been pushing pace and rushing through aid stations. You didn't want to work this hard, and it's not even helping.

This isn't going to be the race you wanted. You're frustrated with it, with your body, with whatever went wrong.

So you quiet quit. You'll do what it takes to reach the finish line, but you've mentally checked out. You're going to check the box.

And that's all you end up doing. You check the box. You finish, you're not happy with it, and you immediately turn your attention to the next race. Because that will be the one that goes your way.

But this race could have gone differently. Not because you found the time you lost, but because you let go of the race it was supposed to be. Once you do that, you can start to see all the other ways this race could be great. Maybe even better, because you're not where you wanted to be.

When you find yourself here, ask yourself this question: "How is where I am the right place?”

You'll want to argue with it. Answer it anyway. Come up with three answers.

Maybe where you are is showing you the flaw in your training you've been trying to ignore.

Maybe it's a person, a view, or a moment you get to experience that you wouldn't have otherwise.

Maybe it's the chance to dig deeper than you planned and earn the finish you'll be proud of forever.

Maybe it means you miss the storm that hits another part of the course.

There's always a gift in not getting what you wanted. You just have to be willing to look for it instead of wallowing in disappointment and frustration.

People ask me why I'm so optimistic and always having a good time out there. This is one of the reasons. I know that if a race doesn't go the way I wanted, there's a gift I'm not seeing yet.

The DNFs I had early on in my ultrarunning didn't feel like a gift at the time, but they were. They sent me digging into the mental side of this sport. Without them, I wouldn't be coaching today, and I wouldn't have run all the races I have.

The gifts show up in other ways, too.

Races I've finished have shown me where my training mix was off.

I've met people I never would have met otherwise.

I slogged through a blizzard at Zumbro and DNF'd. It was a once-in-a-lifetime adventure I wouldn't trade for being "where I wanted to be.”

The DNFs I've had lately were hard, but even then I knew they were a gift. They helped me decide to finally replace the worse of my two hips. They made it clear it was time. No more putting it off.

This doesn't mean you have to stop giving the race your all.

It means that when you're disappointed that you're not where you wanted to be, stay open. There's a gift hiding inside every race that feels like a disappointment.

So don't quit, quietly or otherwise. Find it.