16. Why Saying “I’m Slow” Holds You Back
For years, I prefaced every race conversation by saying, “I’m slow.” I thought I was just being honest about my pace. But what I didn't realize was how deeply those words were shaping my entire experience of ultra running - from the races I chose to how I showed up at the starting line.
In this episode, I’ll share how this seemingly innocent phrase created a self-imposed limit and how it influenced the way I viewed myself as a runner. The way we talk about ourselves has a profound impact on how we perform and what we believe is possible. If you’re constantly telling yourself you’re slow, it can feel like you’re stuck in a cycle that makes progress harder to achieve.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. I’ll explain how shifting your language can open up new possibilities for how you approach races, how you see yourself in the ultra running community, and ultimately, how you start to take ownership of your potential. Changing the way you talk about your pace is just the first step toward transforming your mindset - and your results.
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why "I'm slow" is an identity statement that shapes your entire racing experience..
The importance of setting realistic expectations.
How the phrase “I’m slow” shows up in disguise through other statements.
How to change your language so it reflects your potential, not just your current pace.
Why accepting your pace doesn’t mean you have to stop pushing for improvement or challenging yourself.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Unstoppable Ultra Runner, the podcast for ultra runners who refuse to let anything hold them back. I’m your host, Susan Donnelly, veteran of over 150 100-mile races, and a coach who helps runners like you break through mental roadblocks, push past doubt, and run with confidence. Let’s go.
In my early days of ultra running, I used to say, "I'm slow." I said it often. I used it to reassure others that I wasn't competition and to keep their expectations of me low, to excuse myself in advance for where I'd finish.
But what I didn't realize then was that phrase, those three little words, were hurting me. Not just my performance, but my confidence, my experience of the race, my belief in what was possible for me, and my feeling of even belonging in the sport. It was like an apology for my presence, a way to put myself in my place in a hierarchy before others did.
When I started cleaning up my self-talk, this was the first phrase to go. And now, it's one of the first things I help my clients clean up too.
Welcome to episode 16. Today, we're talking about one of the most common things I hear runners say. It sounds harmless, but it's not. And it's this: "I'm slow."
Most of the runners I work with want a couple of things. They want to finish races consistently. They don't want to live in constant fear of a cutoff. And they want to feel like they belong. And they also want to stop worrying about what other people think of them.
But this one little phrase, "I'm slow," gets in the way of all of that. It's often how runners introduce themselves. It's like their race resume or their calling card.
And before we dive in, I want to make it clear that I'm not talking about your actual pace, your PR, your place, or your finish ranking. I'm talking about how you see yourself. So if you're about to tell me how slow you really are, I hear you, just hang with me.
Let's get into it. Those three words seem like nothing, but here's some, just some, of what happens when you repeat this phrase, "I'm slow," out loud or in your head. You do things like signing up for races with generous cutoffs because it's not your goal race, but you're afraid of being pulled. You tell everyone you're slow so no one judges you or expects more from you.
And on race day, you automatically settle into the back of the pack and try not to think about everyone ahead of you. You try not to let it bother you when you get passed or lapped, but it does. You feel guilty for making volunteers wait on you at aid stations and worry about being left all alone at the back of the pack out of sight of everyone else. You insist all of this doesn't bother you, but deep down, it kind of does.
And long term, you start to see yourself as someone who belongs at the end. This is just the best you can expect. This is just the way things are. You finish, but it doesn't feel great, and maybe you even get burned out over time from always being near the end. And worst of all, you start to feel like you don't really belong because everybody else is so much faster. You feel like you have to justify your presence in the race.
If you want to shift this mindset, the first step is noticing all the ways it shows up. As often as I hear runners say, "I'm slow," it doesn't always come out in those exact words. In fact, there are even more ways runners say the same thing, just in different packaging.
So if you're going to change this mindset, you've got to catch all the sneaky ways you're saying it. Sometimes it shows up as a joke, other times it sounds casual, like no big deal. But underneath the humor or offhand delivery, there's usually the same layer of self-protection going on. You're trying to get out ahead of what you're afraid others are going to think about you.
"I'm slow" can also sound like: I'm just here to have fun. I'm just doing the shorter distance today. I'm just a back of the pack runner. I'm probably the slowest person here. I'm not competitive. I just want to finish.
You'll know you've slipped into the same limiting habit here if those phrases feel like a relief because they lower the expectations others and you place on yourself. It's that feeling of relief that is the key. That's what you're looking for.
On the surface, these phrases seem harmless, and they might seem fun, but they all carry the same undertone. I'm not someone who's here to do anything impressive, so don't expect much. It's a way of trying to manage other people's thoughts about you. But the problem is, you hear it too. And over time, you start to believe it.
The real problem with describing yourself with "I'm slow" is that you've tied your identity to a description of your pace. Any "I am" statement, like "I am slow," is an identity statement. You're saying who you are. And identity statements shape your reality. They don't just describe your experience, they define it, and they create it. And they limit what you allow yourself to even consider possible. You start living into that identity and just accepting it as the truth, reality, the way things just are.
What starts out as a casual way to lower expectations becomes a fixed mindset. You're not someone who's running slow today, you're someone who is slow. Period. It starts to feel permanent and unchangeable.
So what's the fix here? Well, you have to untangle how you're running from who you are, and there are two parts to this.
First, separate who you are from what you're doing. Separate the "I am" part from the "I am doing" part. And here's what this looks like in practice. I'm running slow today. I'm not running the pace I want right now. I'm running slower than planned, but it feels sustainable in this heat. I'm running this race slower than the last one right now.
I feel slow because everyone took off faster than I chose to. I feel slow right now because I'm low energy, and I can fix that. I'm running slow right now so I can save something for later. I'm slower than everyone else today. Someone has to be last and maybe it's my turn today. We'll see. I didn't train at this speed. I see now what I need to change in my training for the next race.
Each one of these reframes still names what's happening. We're not pretending or trying to just think happy. But instead of making it your identity, "I am slow," you're describing the situation and how you're running. If it's just a situation, you can change it.
That's the first thing. The second thing you need to do is question the permanence of it. "I'm slow" just sounds permanent, like something you just are, but it's not.
For example, it's truer to say: I'm going to try a few things to improve my speed. This slower pace I'm running right now signals that there's something I need to fix. I notice that I'm tensing up. I bet relaxing will let me run easier and faster. This is only the start of the race. I'm not warmed up yet, and I've got plenty of miles left to speed up.
I've been hanging out in aid stations longer than usual. I'm going to get that back under control. Technical is not my best surface, but it's temporary. I'll make better time on the sections where it smooths out.
Thoughts like these acknowledge reality without locking you into it. When I stopped calling myself slow, one of the first things I felt was that I belonged more. I wasn't slow. I was an ultra runner. I started to show up to races without a label on myself. Just, "I'm here to run and see what I can do today."
That gave me the freedom and room to surprise myself. I began to choose races based on what excited me, not just what felt safe. Big races. Intimidating races. I trained differently too because I believed I could actually get stronger and faster, and I could handle tougher, more adventurous training.
And I see that same shift in my clients too. When they stop calling themselves slow, they start thinking differently about themselves. They go from just hoping they can finish to setting exciting goals. They go from watching everybody else to focusing on their own race. They go from dragging through a race to pushing it for the fun of it. They enjoy it more. They push themselves more confidently.
And they stop using every aid station as a reading on whether they measure up, like, who's ahead and behind me. They stop apologizing for still being on the course and holding volunteers up. They go from feeling like they're just barely allowed to be there to feeling like they belong.
And that's the real shift. It's not just about pace. It's not about who's ahead or behind. It's about believing that you get to be here in this race. The race isn't only for fast runners, it's for you too. And when you stop calling yourself slow, you stop putting a limit on what you're allowed to do next.
All right. That's it for this week. Thanks for listening and share this episode with a friend, especially one who says, "I'm slow." They'll appreciate it. See you next week. Bye.
Thanks for listening to Unstoppable Ultra Runner. If you want more ultra talk, mindset tools, and strategies for running with confidence, visit www.susanidonnelly.com. This podcast receives production support from the team at Digital Freedom Productions. That’s it for today’s episode. See you next week.
In my early days of ultra running, I used to say, "I'm slow." I said it often. I used it to reassure others that I wasn't competition and to keep their expectations of me low, to excuse myself in advance for where I'd finish.
But what I didn't realize then was that phrase, those three little words, were hurting me. Not just my performance, but my confidence, my experience of the race, my belief in what was possible for me, and my feeling of even belonging in the sport. It was like an apology for my presence, a way to put myself in my place in a hierarchy before others did.
When I started cleaning up my self-talk, this was the first phrase to go. And now, it's one of the first things I help my clients clean up too.
Welcome to episode 16. Today, we're talking about one of the most common things I hear runners say. It sounds harmless, but it's not. And it's this: "I'm slow."
Most of the runners I work with want a couple of things. They want to finish races consistently. They don't want to live in constant fear of a cutoff. And they want to feel like they belong. And they also want to stop worrying about what other people think of them.
But this one little phrase, "I'm slow," gets in the way of all of that. It's often how runners introduce themselves. It's like their race resume or their calling card.
And before we dive in, I want to make it clear that I'm not talking about your actual pace, your PR, your place, or your finish ranking. I'm talking about how you see yourself. So if you're about to tell me how slow you really are, I hear you, just hang with me.
Let's get into it. Those three words seem like nothing, but here's some, just some, of what happens when you repeat this phrase, "I'm slow," out loud or in your head. You do things like signing up for races with generous cutoffs because it's not your goal race, but you're afraid of being pulled. You tell everyone you're slow so no one judges you or expects more from you.
And on race day, you automatically settle into the back of the pack and try not to think about everyone ahead of you. You try not to let it bother you when you get passed or lapped, but it does. You feel guilty for making volunteers wait on you at aid stations and worry about being left all alone at the back of the pack out of sight of everyone else. You insist all of this doesn't bother you, but deep down, it kind of does.
And long term, you start to see yourself as someone who belongs at the end. This is just the best you can expect. This is just the way things are. You finish, but it doesn't feel great, and maybe you even get burned out over time from always being near the end. And worst of all, you start to feel like you don't really belong because everybody else is so much faster. You feel like you have to justify your presence in the race.
If you want to shift this mindset, the first step is noticing all the ways it shows up. As often as I hear runners say, "I'm slow," it doesn't always come out in those exact words. In fact, there are even more ways runners say the same thing, just in different packaging.
So if you're going to change this mindset, you've got to catch all the sneaky ways you're saying it. Sometimes it shows up as a joke, other times it sounds casual, like no big deal. But underneath the humor or offhand delivery, there's usually the same layer of self-protection going on. You're trying to get out ahead of what you're afraid others are going to think about you.
"I'm slow" can also sound like: I'm just here to have fun. I'm just doing the shorter distance today. I'm just a back of the pack runner. I'm probably the slowest person here. I'm not competitive. I just want to finish.
You'll know you've slipped into the same limiting habit here if those phrases feel like a relief because they lower the expectations others and you place on yourself. It's that feeling of relief that is the key. That's what you're looking for.
On the surface, these phrases seem harmless, and they might seem fun, but they all carry the same undertone. I'm not someone who's here to do anything impressive, so don't expect much. It's a way of trying to manage other people's thoughts about you. But the problem is, you hear it too. And over time, you start to believe it.
The real problem with describing yourself with "I'm slow" is that you've tied your identity to a description of your pace. Any "I am" statement, like "I am slow," is an identity statement. You're saying who you are. And identity statements shape your reality. They don't just describe your experience, they define it, and they create it. And they limit what you allow yourself to even consider possible. You start living into that identity and just accepting it as the truth, reality, the way things just are.
What starts out as a casual way to lower expectations becomes a fixed mindset. You're not someone who's running slow today, you're someone who is slow. Period. It starts to feel permanent and unchangeable.
So what's the fix here? Well, you have to untangle how you're running from who you are, and there are two parts to this.
First, separate who you are from what you're doing. Separate the "I am" part from the "I am doing" part. And here's what this looks like in practice. I'm running slow today. I'm not running the pace I want right now. I'm running slower than planned, but it feels sustainable in this heat. I'm running this race slower than the last one right now.
I feel slow because everyone took off faster than I chose to. I feel slow right now because I'm low energy, and I can fix that. I'm running slow right now so I can save something for later. I'm slower than everyone else today. Someone has to be last and maybe it's my turn today. We'll see. I didn't train at this speed. I see now what I need to change in my training for the next race.
Each one of these reframes still names what's happening. We're not pretending or trying to just think happy. But instead of making it your identity, "I am slow," you're describing the situation and how you're running. If it's just a situation, you can change it.
That's the first thing. The second thing you need to do is question the permanence of it. "I'm slow" just sounds permanent, like something you just are, but it's not.
For example, it's truer to say: I'm going to try a few things to improve my speed. This slower pace I'm running right now signals that there's something I need to fix. I notice that I'm tensing up. I bet relaxing will let me run easier and faster. This is only the start of the race. I'm not warmed up yet, and I've got plenty of miles left to speed up.
I've been hanging out in aid stations longer than usual. I'm going to get that back under control. Technical is not my best surface, but it's temporary. I'll make better time on the sections where it smooths out.
Thoughts like these acknowledge reality without locking you into it. When I stopped calling myself slow, one of the first things I felt was that I belonged more. I wasn't slow. I was an ultra runner. I started to show up to races without a label on myself. Just, "I'm here to run and see what I can do today."
That gave me the freedom and room to surprise myself. I began to choose races based on what excited me, not just what felt safe. Big races. Intimidating races. I trained differently too because I believed I could actually get stronger and faster, and I could handle tougher, more adventurous training.
And I see that same shift in my clients too. When they stop calling themselves slow, they start thinking differently about themselves. They go from just hoping they can finish to setting exciting goals. They go from watching everybody else to focusing on their own race. They go from dragging through a race to pushing it for the fun of it. They enjoy it more. They push themselves more confidently.
And they stop using every aid station as a reading on whether they measure up, like, who's ahead and behind me. They stop apologizing for still being on the course and holding volunteers up. They go from feeling like they're just barely allowed to be there to feeling like they belong.
And that's the real shift. It's not just about pace. It's not about who's ahead or behind. It's about believing that you get to be here in this race. The race isn't only for fast runners, it's for you too. And when you stop calling yourself slow, you stop putting a limit on what you're allowed to do next.
All right. That's it for this week. Thanks for listening and share this episode with a friend, especially one who says, "I'm slow." They'll appreciate it. See you next week. Bye.
Thanks for listening to Unstoppable Ultra Runner. If you want more ultra talk, mindset tools, and strategies for running with confidence, visit www.susanidonnelly.com. This podcast receives production support from the team at Digital Freedom Productions. That’s it for today’s episode. See you next week.
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